I was laying down trying to meditate a panic attack away, it wasn't working. I started to think about depression, to try to keep my mind off my anxiety. I thought of all the people I know that have been diagnosed with depression, and it was in the double digits. I'm not talking about internet friends (even though I consider them real friends), I'm talking about in real life friends (IRL). Which made me wonder if those of us with depression are just attracted to one another, are we drawn to one another because we understand the indescribable feeling that is depression?
Then somehow like my brain often does, I switched to thinking about Social Media. Are we better off having depression in the 21st century? Besides the obvious positives of medication, treatment, and the fact the even though there is a stigma attached to it, it is far less than it was in the past. Does living in a world so drenched in Social Media make life with depression easier? Or is it making it more difficult?
I can see the positive of realizing that you're not alone. You can google "I am so depressed" and the results are in the 100s, forums, blog posts, memes, news articles, essays all of the people in the same depression boat as you. Someone could be reading my blog right now and think "I get her." Every time someone famous dies Social Media is flooded with sadness and links to a suicide help line. I found out about the Crisis Text Line on Social Media, I am not ashamed to say I've used it and it helped me in a moment of sheer panic.
But, I can feel the negative side of having depression and Social Media. Because, depression has that weird way of saying "you're not worthy", you feel less than, so sad, like you're in a deep hole and the sides are slicked with Vaseline, and you have no arms, and you're blindfolded, and the ground is on fire. Everything seems so hopeless and you're feeling like the ultimate loser. Then you check into Instagram and there are all these people who seem happy, with these perfect lives, not stuck in a Vaseline soaked hole on fire. On Facebook, everyone is talking about how great this and that are, and you're on fire at the bottom of a hole you feel like you'll never escape.
The flames are licking away at you and you see your friend count, and you've never felt more lonely. You have all these contacts online, and do not feel like bothering one of them with the sadness that is you. That's a lonely feeling. The worst feeling.
But, in the same vein, we have this technology at our fingertips that allow us to reach out to people for help. It takes time to get to the point to where you trust someone enough to text and say "I'm in a dark place, please help me", even if you feel like you're a bother and not worth it, you are. Reach out, no matter how much it feels like you shouldn't, reach out, do it. We have the opportunity to reach out at any hour of the day, we should use it.
So, I suppose what I'm saying is that while being depressed is as awful as ever, but we now have more opportunities to talk about it and seek out help. And no matter how bad Social Media can make me feel some days, I do see the good things it has brought into my life. Like my husband, but that's a story for another time.
Then somehow like my brain often does, I switched to thinking about Social Media. Are we better off having depression in the 21st century? Besides the obvious positives of medication, treatment, and the fact the even though there is a stigma attached to it, it is far less than it was in the past. Does living in a world so drenched in Social Media make life with depression easier? Or is it making it more difficult?
I can see the positive of realizing that you're not alone. You can google "I am so depressed" and the results are in the 100s, forums, blog posts, memes, news articles, essays all of the people in the same depression boat as you. Someone could be reading my blog right now and think "I get her." Every time someone famous dies Social Media is flooded with sadness and links to a suicide help line. I found out about the Crisis Text Line on Social Media, I am not ashamed to say I've used it and it helped me in a moment of sheer panic.
But, I can feel the negative side of having depression and Social Media. Because, depression has that weird way of saying "you're not worthy", you feel less than, so sad, like you're in a deep hole and the sides are slicked with Vaseline, and you have no arms, and you're blindfolded, and the ground is on fire. Everything seems so hopeless and you're feeling like the ultimate loser. Then you check into Instagram and there are all these people who seem happy, with these perfect lives, not stuck in a Vaseline soaked hole on fire. On Facebook, everyone is talking about how great this and that are, and you're on fire at the bottom of a hole you feel like you'll never escape.
The flames are licking away at you and you see your friend count, and you've never felt more lonely. You have all these contacts online, and do not feel like bothering one of them with the sadness that is you. That's a lonely feeling. The worst feeling.
But, in the same vein, we have this technology at our fingertips that allow us to reach out to people for help. It takes time to get to the point to where you trust someone enough to text and say "I'm in a dark place, please help me", even if you feel like you're a bother and not worth it, you are. Reach out, no matter how much it feels like you shouldn't, reach out, do it. We have the opportunity to reach out at any hour of the day, we should use it.
So, I suppose what I'm saying is that while being depressed is as awful as ever, but we now have more opportunities to talk about it and seek out help. And no matter how bad Social Media can make me feel some days, I do see the good things it has brought into my life. Like my husband, but that's a story for another time.
No comments:
Post a Comment