An Open Letter to my Ex's Exes

Monday, October 8, 2018



Dear Ex of my Ex,
Why are you contacting me when your relationship with him ends? I'm very curious, because this is something I've never done. So, when you reach out to me; I'm confused, lost, and more than slightly annoyed. I'm not the ex whisperer. I can't help you get him back, don't you think if I had that ability he'd be mine again?
I also refuse to have a bash party with you about him. There is no ex wives club, and if there were you wouldn't be invited. You never made wifey status, I did. I'm also not the type of person who talks shit behind someone's back. If someone has angered or hurt me, I just tell them. If you have something to tell him, TELL HIM, not me!
I'm sorry you're hurting, I really am. But, talking to me isn't going to help you. While, I may pity you I don't really care he dumped you. He and I are divorced, I'm not responsible for his choices. If I'm being honest(which I always am) I find your whining about the end of your 3 month relationship with him somewhat pathetic. I was with him 10 years! When he left I didn't message his exes looking for help, or to bitch. I looked to my friends for support, I put my big girl panties on and I  moved the fuck on with my  life. Follow my lead Ladies and do the same.
I have the great honor of holding Baby Mama status, I'm currently the only one. That means I'm not going to talk smack about him with some strange lady, who in the scheme of things was barely a blip on the radar. You're contacting me thinking I'm going to speak negatively about the Father of my children. I will never do this with you. That's my kid's Dad, and I'll defend him until I die. He's a good Dad, and I would never disrespect my children by putting him down with you.
For those of you who think our experience was the same. Again, 10 years ladies. I was with him TEN years. Your experience is not like mine. Even if you had been with him ten years our experiences would not be the same. You're not me, and he isn't even the same person I was with.
People change. He and I are not the same people we were when we were together. Not only that everyone is someone different to different people. You more than likely saw a side of him I never did. Just as you will never see the person he was to me, because you're not me. The dynamic between he and I will never be the same one he and someone else will have.
My advice to you, don't contact the ex. You may think it will make you feel better. But, you're just robbing yourself of precious healing time. Do not do that to yourself. You deserve better from yourself. I promise you, I am right on this.
I'm never going to do or say anything to rob joy from my children's father, my kids deserve a mother who respects their father despite our differences, and that's what they're going to get.
If you think I won't tell him the minute you contact me, you're wrong. He will be the first person I tell. For two reasons; the first being I would want to know if someone was talking shit about me. The second, I'm hoping he still has enough pull with you to get you to leave me the hell alone.
I don't want to hear about your relationship with him, that's none of my business. Plus, hearing about it hurts me. What kind of person wants to make a stranger sad? He and I may be over.  But, I'm still raw from the divorce. Hearing about him being with other women still stings. I'm moving on, but I still have a heart.
So please, don't contact me. I'm not going to help you. I'm a good person, but not Mother Teresa good. I honestly don't care that you and he ended. I'm sorry for your sadness, but only because I'm a decent human being and I hate seeing others hurt. But, you're a stranger to me. That's how it should stay.

Yours Truly,
The OG Ex

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